Family Ties

I love my family, I really do, but there is no one else in the world that can mess you up as much as your family can.

If life were like the sitcoms I watched growing up, at the end of 30 minutes all my issues with siblings and parents would be resolved. (Unless it was a very special episode, then it would take 60 minutes to reach our resolution.) While I claim the absurdities in my life are a sitcom, my life is not a TV show. My parents are not the Keatons. My siblings and I are not Alex, Mallory, Jennifer, or the 4th kid who isn’t important enough to name since he was just brought in for the “cute” factor to liven up the series. (Didn’t work for me, anyone else?)

How do you talk to your parents about things that bother you without hurting them? As a new parent myself, I am now more sensitive to this. How would I want Josh to speak to me in 30 years if he had a problem? Heck, how would I want him to talk to me at any time in the future?

My husband and I talk a lot. We work through our issues. Sometimes he has to chase me out of the cave I run to hide in, but eventually, we always talk things out. I credit my husband with being the stronger one in this productive discussion department. He is our fearless captain in the choppy waters of marital strife. While all the conversations aren’t always pleasant, the open lines of communication are important and I am glad we have that in our marriage.

I am hopeful, that as Josh grows up he recognizes this about his parents. I hope he knows that although a conversation can be difficult, as long as he is open and honest with his feelings and communicates with us, our relationship as parent and child will only get stronger.

Back to my first question, after just spending father’s day with my whole family and having numerous issues that bothered me come up, how come I couldn’t have a discussion about it with my folks? Why can’t I speak with them in the way I hope Josh will feel comfortable speaking with us one day?

If the lyrics from Family Ties are true “There aint no nothing we can’t love each other through” I shouldn’t be frightened to talk it out with my parents. Unfortunately, as I said, my life is not a sitcom – more like a miniseries…and I never had the patience to watch those. They were way too long and too melodramatic.