What’s wrong with being selfish?

Today, a colleague I met once, but converse with on the phone often, came into our office for a meeting and came to my cubicle to find me. She seemed genuinely thrilled to see me. She asked all about baby Josh and how I was transitioning back into the office. Then, at lunchtime, as I walked out of an alternate exit from my building, a security guard there said “We haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?” Last week, the woman who hands out the free paper at the train station told me it was great to see me again. In the week I have been back in the office, back to my old routine, I have been genuinely surprised at the warm reception I have received from the people I have interacted with on both a routine and intermittent basis. At the risk of sounding egotistical, I feel really popular.

However, I have got to give credit where credit is due. My parents, my dad in particular, have always been what you classify as “blue collar” workers. They struggle financially and my dad, having been a plumber, was always treated more like a machine than a person when he entered people’s homes. Due to his experiences, he instilled in me the proper respect for another human being, regardless of the job they hold or how much money they have in the bank.

I say hello to the people you rush by going to catch the train or to make it to your desk on time. I thank the cashiers at my local grocery store and wish them a good day. I always ask the customer service agents, that I call for inquiries, how their day is and do my best to illicit a smile from a person who I know probably deals with mostly irate individuals on a daily basis. I offer service men, like plumbers, something to eat or drink when they are in my home. I started doing it all because of my dad but, I have gotten so much more out of it then I give. In a world filled with millions of people, I feel like I matter. I feel more like a human being myself by treating other people with respect and courtesy.

There’s this great commercial where you see random acts of kindness leading to other random acts of kindness. It is simple gestures like a smile, picking up a dropped object for another person or just holding a door open that can change the demeanor of another individual. More importantly, I feel, that the kindness you show someone often benefits you the most by making you feel better about yourself. So, when you really think about it, my being nice to people is a really selfish act. My parents have always been the most selfish people I know and I can only hope that I can raise Josh to be an even more selfish human being then they taught me to be. So go ahead, and be a little selfish and teach your kids to do it too.